P. Diddy - I'll be missing you
It seems like March 10, 1994 was just yesterday. The day that an entire family and community didn’t just lose a son, a brother, an uncle, cousin, a friend and a mentor. But March 10, 1994 is the day that America and the World lost perhaps a future husband, father, artist, musician, poet, athlete, a humanitarian and Nobel Peace Prize winner. Muhammad Ibn Abdullah Brown, you were the next “BIG” thing before the next big thing was thought of. Before there was a cause to fight for, before there was a song to be sung, before there was a beat to be played and before there was a poem to be written, and there was you with your versatility of talents and skills to display to the world.
March 10, 1994 shook the foundations of reality and fantasy for me as well as the rest of the family. However your passing Muhammad marked the beginning of a lot of ups and downs in not just our family but the world as we know. It has been 15 years since I last saw the face of not just my older brother but my greatest best friend, my mentor and one of my role models. 15 years and counting Muhammad but each year marks something new to tell you. Each year marks more tears of joy as well as tears of sorrow because you’re not physically here to experience all of this with the family. Nonetheless, each year marks one step closer to all of us being reunited as one.
Muhammad so much has happened since March 10, 1994. In 1994, our parents were still married but now they are divorced but are the greatest of friends. In 1994, you only had two nephews— Galen Phillips and (Freeman) Deshawn Johnson and two nieces—Porscha Boyd and Dashay Harris. Now you and I have 9 nephews and 6 nieces. Yes brother, we’re the only ones without children for now but the reality is that any child I have in the future is your child, just like my high school diploma is yours. Brother, I never thought our younger brother Mensah would have children before you or I but he has two beautiful little twin girls (Malayla & Myra-Marie Shaw) that were born on April Fool’s Day in 2007. This is funny and unique brother because Mensah’s set of twins came after our youngest sister Fulani had a twin boy (Jaquar Brown) and girl a year (Jaquari Brown) in February of 2005.
Since you’ve passed brother, our oldest sister Katrina Phillips has had two more children since Galen with the youngest being a baby girl born three years ago. Our second oldest sister Zeundrax Phillips had a little boy (Shakeer Williams) almost a year ‘til the day you passed away which we all thought might be born on your birthday or at least in March. Nonetheless Zee has had two boys since Porscha with the latest being born the day after Christmas in 2007 (Khalil). You would really enjoy him Muhammad because he is a happy baby that loves to eat and loves to play. He is going to be a lady killer just like you and he is as smart as a whip as well.
Our third oldest sister Fareeda Brown has had one other child since Dashay and Deshawn named Demetrius but we call him D.J. He’s a great nephew and was born in October of 1999 just like our dad. Now Fulani had two other boys before she had twins with the oldest being DeMarco Brown who was born in June of 2000 and her second oldest Jalen George was born one year after DeMarco in October. Our family has done well brother. It has grown despite our parents getting divorced and it has gotten stronger brother. Really strong!
That fatal night took a lot out of so many people because so many questions opened up. However it is has been 15 years and the Brown-Phillips-Shabazz Family is greater and stronger than it was in 1994. Not only has our family changed but America and the world has changed. In 15 years brother, you have missed so much that you would have loved to see in sports and politics. For starters the Pistons won another NBA title in 2004. That occurred 10 years after 1994 and that was probably the greatest gift you could wish for since the Pistons were your favorite team and plus they played your second favorite team the Los Angeles Lakers.
The NFL saw its first African American coach Tony Dungy win a Super Bowl and its first two African American coaches (Dungy and Lovie Smith) in the Super Bowl in 2007. Also the second African American as well as the youngest head coach to win a Super Bowl occurred this year with Mike Tomlin at the age of 34. That’s four years older than you brother. That could have been you. In fact I know it would have been you if you didn’t decide to pursue being an athlete. The Golf World is dominated by one man, Tiger Woods. He is literally going to be the greatest golfer ever to live as he attempts to ellipse all of golf’s records.
Michael Jordan came out of retirement twice brother with the first time leading him to win 3 more NBA titles with the Chicago Bulls. However you would have been disappointed in his second comeback because he came back as a Washington Wizard after being their General Manager for a year. Now Michael Jordan and Vice President of Basketball Operations as part owner of the Charlotte Bobcats. Also yours and my favorite basketball player of all time Magic Johnson came out of retirement to not only coach but to play for the Lakers. However both stints ended bitterly.
It has been 15 years brother. Betty Shabazz, Rosa Parks and Coretta Scott King have all passed. Three icons of the civil rights movement that did things to carry on the legacy of the movement as well as the legacies of Malcolm X and MLK. It has been 15 years brother and America screamed for change in the 2008 when it comes to politics by electing its quote unquote first African American President, Barack Obama. You would have been proud as well as excited to be a part of the historical election but my brother. Nonetheless you would be telling me as well as others that this is not the end all, be all because there is so much we must continue to do.
Wow, 15 years and counting brother. It has been the best of the times and the worst of times but through it all, you have been there. Every step of the way, you have been there to watch over the family brother, to watch over the world and to guide so many people. While the home on East Savannah is no longer standing, the memories of that street will live on forever. 15 years is a long time for most and not so long for some but for the family it has been a bitter sweet struggle. A bitter sweet struggle for survival, for prosperity, for happiness, for love and for family.
15 years and counting brother but each day, each month, and each year brings our family stronger. While so much around us has happened, it is clear that our family is destined to succeed at being not just good people but great people to not only ourselves but each other. Muhammad, you have guided us, inspired us, motivated us and uplifted us for 15 years. We hope that you continue to watch over your friends, your nieces, your nephews, your cousins, your aunts, you uncles, your parents, your grandparents, your brothers and your sisters like you have done this far.
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to have March 10, 1994 back in order to see your face one last time and tell you I love you. However I don’t have a time machine and everything in life happens for a reason and I want you to know that your death was not in vain. Your death showed me what was reality and fantasy as well as what love really is. So many people talk about love but if you aren’t willing to die for it than it isn’t love. Love is sacrificing yourself for a purpose or cause that is greater than you.
While no one probably understood or knew why you did what you did on March 10, 1994, it is clear that it was not in vain but it was a purpose. God gave the world his only begotten son Jesus Christ but he also gave us Muhammad Ibn Abdullah Brown, a soldier for humanity, a fighter for equal rights, a warrior for God’s purpose and a Prince of God’s “Job Well Done Club.” 15 years and counting brother but you lived your purpose and completed your mission on March 10, 1994.
No matter what, those who knew you best didn’t understand the event that transpired on March 10, 1994 but those that knew you least definitely wanted to know you more after that day. Now that it has been 15 years brother and things have changed in not only our family but America and the world, it is time for us to finally commend you for helping to make positive changes on Earth while you were here. Your legacy, your dreams, and your future lives on in your siblings, your cousins, your nieces and your nephews.
As long as there is a Brown-Phillips-Shabazz as well as a Buggs, Crump, Esters, Jackson, Jones, Johnson, Lee, Williams, or Yates living, you will live on. Muhammad Ibn Abdullah Brown, your name will live on forever and ever brother as long as we continue to talk about you and share the memories we have of you with each other. 15 years and counting is truly a remarkable feat that brings tears of joy as well as perhaps sadness but with each tear there’s a renewed sense of hope, a renewed sense of vision, and a renewed sense of life.
The life you didn’t fully complete but you wanted your family and friends to complete. Muhammad, “You’re the Greatest!” Brother, “You’re the Best!” Nobody can change that and that is why as March 10, 2009 hits, it is not a day of mourning and sorrow but a day of hope, a day of believing, and a day of completion. I love you brother and that is why 15 years and counting renews a flame of energy like no one else but God does. Your memory, your death, and your birthday are 4 days that are engraved in my head as the point where I am re-energized to fulfill the work of God.
Thank you brother for being the loving, caring, and nurturing foot soldier that you were. I can never fully repay you for all that you did for me, all that you thought me and all the information you have provided me before March 10, 1994 until now but I can at least live out the motto “Each One, Reach One, Teach One” for the rest of my life. If each person can just reach one person each day and teach that one person one thing than the world would be a better place going forward. If we could show love and care for one new person each and every day of our lives than that is approximately 365 or 366 people a year (leap year). Therefore if we all live until we are least 55 years old than one person in their life time can approximately help at least 20,075 to 20,130 people.
Muhammad, I don’t know how many people lives you have impacted but it will over 21,000 with all the friends and family who have continued your legacy. You are a “LEGEND” and “ICON” to me. That’s why this March 10, 2009; I am paying homage to you in order to let the world know that without you there wouldn’t be a me. A part of me being who I am is because of you. “I AM WHO I AM” because of people like you. There is no Hodari P.T. Brown without the ultimate sacrifice you made to our family. Your life is my life and my life is your life.
R. Kelly - I Wish
March 13, 1979—March 10, 1994
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