Lesson#3: Creating A Strong Male Figure In The Home—By: Akindele Akinyemi

Our children are in dire need of strong male figures in the home. While public policy has been created to keep families intact we are still suffering at the hands of the enemy as men.

However, I have to admit, we know right from wrong. Yes, we, as men, face obstacles every day in our lives but it is up to us to stay strong in the eye of the storm.

When we look at the role of husbands in our family structure we can clearly see how this role has been placed out of order. For those of us who believe in the Word of God the position of the husband in the home and his related responsibilities are quite clearly defined in principle in Ephesians 5:22, 28-31. “Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, even as Christ is head of the church; and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so let wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wife as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it . . . So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church . . . For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh”.

For those brothers who are married or are thinking about being in a committed relationship for the long haul we need to start with some scriptures that deal with the husband as head of the house.

Genesis 3:16, says in part “her desire shall be to man”. That debunks the whole homosexual debate right there.

Then Ephesians 5:23, “husband is head of the wife”; then I Tim. 2:11-12, “She shall have no dominion over a man”. Now don’t stop at these verses and think that the only responsibility of the husband (or man) is to be HEAD of the house. By the way, head does not mean master as in a master-slave relationship, nor does it mean a relationship like a general to a private in the army. It is a loving partnership where one is the leader, guide, director. Now consider this. Can you think of any decision that a man should make WITHOUT consulting or considering his woman and her wishes? On a personal note I cannot. Trust me, in the past I have tried and when I did the woman bit my head off. I move as a unit. Period.

Now let us consider some other responsibilities. The man is to love a woman above all other human beings. Consider Eph. 5:25 and 28; and Col. 3:19. These passages teach that the man in the relationship is to be considerate and tender. The verses in Ephesians 5 teach that the man is to cherish his woman. This means that she is to be treated with tenderness and affection. This would mean that since love must be fed, there is to be a warm demonstrative love relationship.

The man (if you are married the husband) has the responsibility of not only demonstrating his love and concern, but telling her. He should not sit in such self-absorption that he does not talk with her and communicate with her socially, mentally, verbally and physically. The husband will demonstrate his love for his woman in other ways, rather than just at the time of sexual relationship. If this is the only time that affection and consideration is shown, then a woman will get the idea that all a man is interested in is her body and that she is merely a sex object.
I Peter 3:7, teaches that the man is to honor his woman. In marriage, she gave up her name to take yours. Honor means that you should show her respect and this involves courtesy, consideration and emotional support. Again in marriage, be sure that as her husband that you do not hold her up to ridicule in public by the cutting remarks that you make. She wears YOUR name and is to viewed as part of your body. She is not perfect and you are aware of this. Do not expect perfection, but as Ephesians 4:32 teaches, “forbear one another”. This means to be gentle toward her. Control of temper, abstaining from physical violence and restraining a sharp tongue that makes one feel so inferior - are ways by which you can exhibit forbearance.

Another responsibility of the man is to be active in the area of the discipline and rearing of the children. When the Apostle Paul was giving the qualifications for elders and deacons, he included this statement that is certainly applicable to all men: I Timothy 3:3-5, and he speaks of ruling your own house. Now this discipline should be with love. Many times discipline is administered without love. The Book says in Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers provoke not your children to wrath”, and again in Colossians 3:21, “Fathers provoke not your children to anger lest they be discouraged”. The man therefore does not leave all the discipline up to his woman, but shares in the molding and direction of your children. It is not a proper division of responsibility to say that as the man I will provide the living and the woman is to take care of the house and children.

The man has duties even after his days work is done by which lie is earning a living to support his family.

If there are children involved the father should set an example for his family as he earns a living, directs the household with concern for each member, and as he fulfills his role as head of the house. He should see to their spiritual development by the life he lives and the direction in which he leads his family. Together, with his woman by his side and walking together in the Spirit of the Lord, we can begin to see the transformation process take place in the home.

A strong male figure in our homes and children’s lives will make a huge difference and impact on the home. Men should get into the habit of learning about financial literacy to educate the family. The purpose of educating the family on finances is to show that everyone understand their role in wealth creation just in case something happens to the man or woman in the home.

Sharing the wealth and blessings are the key to a happy home and a greater future.

If a man is in love with a woman she is a part of your body - you are a part of each other. As you love her, you love yourself and are fulfilling the role that the Lord wanted you to have.

Politicians have dropped the ball on this issue of character building. Especially Republicans who cry about family values and then get caught in the bathroom like Former Sen. Larry Craig from Idaho and others who have on one end talked about how immoral Democrats are and then practice the exact same behavior as the Democrats. It’s not about race or politics when we are trying to build our men up in our homes.

It is all about what God has set aside as our role as fathers, boyfriends, husbands, and even caregivers to balance our women, our children, our homes and families.

The Beginning Path.